"So it goes."

I shouldn't joke about life and death. Here's a quick catch-up on what I've been up to since I last checked in - getting more tests than any lab rat I've ever known and no real answers from medical science, so I'm still in pain and swollen and mostly irritable and some days I can't see or use my hands, and I've always been a klutz but I've been falling over more than usual lately.

However, I'm not overly concerned about that because about three weeks after my mystery illness started, my younger sister was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She's in the midst of preparing for a full mastectomy. The good news is that it seems to have not spread, which is the most important thing. Her lymph nodes are clear and after a trip to several specialists, we believe her prognosis is good. She's in excellent health otherwise (she teaches kickboxing and yoga for fun, she eats perfectly and does nothing unhealthy.) So, she's my baby sister, and obviously all of that was upsetting, but we're keeping our hopes high.

This has all transpired after my father has been getting progressively sicker for a couple years now, after he beat a bad esophageal cancer of his own five years ago, but since then he's had many weird and unexplained health problems, in and out of hospital, and when the phone rang in the middle of the night two weeks ago, I assumed it was about my father or my youngest sister - but no. This time my mother (the picture of health - I've been worried since childhood that if nuclear destruction came, she and I would be the only people alive in the dystopian future amongst cockroaches and rats - and she'd tell me to "just put on some lipstick and you'll feel better about the situation.") Anyway, my mother had a routine operation (necessary but nothing horrible) and then she had a stroke - which was not expected. As of yesterday, she's recovering very nicely, with no obviously long-lasting symptoms. I ran a whole battery of neurological tests on her (much to her chagrin.) Beyond mocking me, she seems to be improving well, and they've changed her blood pressure meds. They are apparently of the opinion that this could have been a result of anesthesia. So, beyond worrying everyone, she may actually still outlast us all.

My oldest sister seems unscathed by the family curse thus far, and none of the next generation has any weird illnesses. But this has been a crazy few months!

I wish this was my idea of a joke, but it's not. It's all true. I'm still a medical mystery, but honestly it's a bit hard to complain when everyone else is having such dramatic illnesses all around me. I'm hoping to find myself with answers eventually, but I've realized that it's not going to be quick or easy, so I'm modifying by reading behaviors accordingly, trying to sleep more (a chore) and I'll be back here adding books and trying to at least catch up with keeping track of what I've read.

I'm waiting for a new computer that requires less sitting, but I've tried a few and been not happy with any of them, so I'm still trying to figure out which one might work best with my clumsy fingers and poor eyesight.

All this to say that I'm going to try to check in more than I've been lately, and I will be annoying you with book additions. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to check the feed - it depends on the day and my eyes, but I will at least try to navigate your goings on from my phone sometimes. And I would be very appreciative if anyone wants to send positive vibes or prayters or whatever your thing is to my sister. (I'm pretty sure that I am indestructible.)

Meanwhile, I really miss you all! I have been thinking of you all at different times, when I read something or think of various discussions and groups. I do hope you're all well - Ella